Compatibility Tests
by sminches
Summary: Hayley is in for her yearly check-up at the Doctor's office. What will she do to pass the time in the waiting room? Please R&R!


A/N: Hey there! Guess what? I'm not dead! But Alex is. She quit FF :( Well, she's still my editor, but we've decided to stop our little pre-story chats. Not a lot of people like them any more. We've decided to only add those at the end of our multi-chapter fics. Which I will be posting one soon :) Anywho, enjoy the story!

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She is one of five people wilting in the waiting room on the hottest day of July: She, plus the grey-haired lady with walker and oxygen tank; a green-snotted boy of about five; the green-snotted boy's mother who seems horribly annoyed; and a middle-aged paunchy man who appears to be sleeping. Or dead. Hayley shifts on her chair, tries unsuccessfully to situate herself in front of the lazy, rotating fan. She can actually feel droplets of sweat running down her face, soaking into the collar of her brand new T-shirt. Lovely.

She would like to be anywhere but here. Wrestling a squirming monster to the ground, arguing with Jake, listening to Felix drone on and on and _on_ about…anything. The benefits of not having your wisdom teeth pulled. Whatever.

She's scheduled for her annual check up. Whoo. Hoo.

She studies each patient in turn, wonders idly what ails them, then casts about for something to do. She hates waiting. Hates it. Green-Snot catches her eye, sticks out his tongue. She almost sticks hers out in return, she actually _would_ stick it out at Jake, but manages to stop herself. It's too hot. There is a pile of worn magazines on the table in front of her. She eyes their dog-eared pages warily, convinced they are teeming with every germ and virus known to mankind. Green-Snot makes another face and looks like he might come over and engage her in some form of a (loud) conversation (What are you doing here? Are you sick? Why is your shirt so wet?), so she quickly grabs the nearest Ebola-infested magazine and pulls it close to her face, effectively shutting him down.

Her eyes focus.

Oh lord.

It's a teen magazine. She's staring at page 22, creased and covered in multicolored pen and pencil markings and lots of hand-drawn hearts. It's a quiz. It's a quiz for twelve year old girls.

_Are you and your crush meant for each other?_

She tries not to laugh. She scans the "12 Simple Questions designed to determine whether your boy "friend" could possibly be you new boyfriend!" She sighs, starts to put it down. Then, she glances around the room. Sleeping/Dead Man is still immobile. Grey-Hair is staring at the floor, her tank hisses. Green-Snot is hanging off his mother's legs. No one is looking her way. She swallows. She slides her hand into her bag and pulls out a pen. She shakes her head.

_Am I actually going to do this? _She thinks

1) How long have you known your crush?

Apparently she is. She puts a very small star next to _D) About a year_

2) Do know when your crush is lying?

She snorts. Obviously not. She stars _B) No_, then crosses it out and marks _C) Not always._

3) Do you know something is wrong without having to ask?

She laughs out loud. Good god. _A) Yes_

4) Do you know when it is time to give him some space?

She thinks of elevator doors closing in her face and unanswered phone calls. _B) Not always._

5) Do you know what he is thinking?

_C) Sometimes._

6) Do you know everything about each other?

_B) No._

7) Do you feel weird around your crush?

I feel weird doing this quiz. _C) Sometimes._

8) Does your crush know you like him?

She puts the magazine down, then starts to put the pen away. She stops, sighs, picks it up again. She marks _C) No way!_

9) When your crush passes by, what does he do?

_A) Makes eye contact and smiles. B) Looks away. C) Blushes. D) Taps your shoulder._

What the _hell_?

She wants to add _E) Tackles me out of the way of an oncoming monster and blasts it_, but marks A_)_.

10) If you had the chance to ask him out, would you?

_C) I don't know._

11) Have you ever kissed your crush?

She groans out loud and rubs her forehead.

"Headache, dear?" Grey-Hair is watching her.

"Something like that," Hayley says.

"This heat is terrible, isn't it?"

"Awful." She marks _B) No_.

12) How would your crush tell you he really likes you?

She's deciding between _B) He'd write me a note and slip it in my locker!_ and _C) He would never tell me!_ when her cell chirps. She jams it up to her ear, covers her answers with one hand because she knows who's calling and he might see. Oh god she's turned into a 13-year-old. She tries not to giggle.

"Hey Hayley. What are you doing?"

_Trying to find out if we're freaking compatible!_

"I'm…I'm waiting for the doctor. I have an appointment, remember?"

She can actually hear him remembering.

"I do…I just thought that you'd be finished by now."

"Well, I'm not, all right?"

"All right. Is everything…you okay?"

_See, if we were "meant for each other" you would already know that I am not. Gosh._

"I'm fine. I'm hotter than hell and I'm just really tired of waiting." The receptionist hears this last exchange and fixes Hayley with one evil eye. Hayley lowers her voice. "I have to go. Everything is fine. It's just a checkup."

"Okay." He pauses. "I…got you a soda. Is Mountain Dew ok?

"Oh. Yeah, Mountain Dew's great. That was nice of you. Thanks."

_Definite boyfriend potential there, Jake._

"No problem."

"I'll catch up with you later."

"Have fun."

"You bet!"

Okay. Okay. Turn to page 44 and "find out how _crushtastic_ your crush really is!"

_God help me._

She turns. She turns some more. Her mouth drops.

Crap. The freaking page is _missing_.

"Hayley Steele?" The receptionist calls in a cold no-nonsense voice. Hayley panics.

"Uh…hang on." She paws the back pages of the magazine. Has to be here. Has to be. It's not.

"Miss Steele?" She's using a don't-screw-with-me voice now.

"Just a minute!" Hayley yells. Everyone looks at her, even the Man Previously Thought to be Dead.

"You can take it in with you, you know," Green-Snot boy's mother says helpfully.

Hayley jumps up, approaches the receptionist. "Uh…there appears to be a page missing…from here. See? Page…44?"

The receptionist stares. "And?"

"But…you don't understand. I need…I _need to know_…" She stops. She slams the magazine down on the counter. "You really should get some new reading material out here."

The exam room is even hotter than the waiting room. She puts her bag on the chair, and she waits. Her cell rings. She turns it off.

13) How many times a day does your crush call just to see how you're doing?

_D) More than 10._

The doctor comes in.

"Hello dear, how's your day been?" He asks.

She rolls her eyes. "Don't even get me started…"

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A/N: Ok, hope you liked. Please R&R!


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